Finding Wonderland

I had a dream one time where a conspiratorial reptilian was harassing me and questioning me, harping on me for quite a long time. Because he was a reptilian, I was completely engaged with him during the confrontation. It was sort of similar to The Scarecrow in Batman Begins, though not quite as frightening in nature.

At one point I simply got tired of the whole thing. So I retreated from the world. The reptilian finally realized this and said, "Ah, it's no use. He's lost in Wonderland." He was right.

What is Wonderland?

We always worry about how fast time flies by us. Years become blurs in the past. Days don't even seem to exist. We can't remember if something happened last month, or three months ago. We have this notion that time goes by faster and faster until we reach the inevitable point of our destruction, having accomplished nothing. The only solution, I think, is to go down the rabbit hole.

I think Phillip Dick was right when he wrote about how we have the capacity to change the course of time. He wrote a story about a few punks who took drugs which changed how time flowed. Now, for me, days go by very slowly. They do not fly by. It is better to do things this way, I think. More fulfilling. And I think everyone has the capacity to slow their time down.

See, usually we get caught up in this notion of becoming financially secure. We want security for our jobs, our homes—we don't even want to entertain the possibility that we'll be without a job or without a home. This may be nice, for a while; we may feel we've accomplished something. But the problem begins when time starts to speed up. Which isn't good.

I think we should lose our jobs and our homes. At least, we should put them at risk. Then we should slow time down until it stops. Once we do that, we will have found Wonderland—a shimmering, still and celestial Wonderland where the Queen of Hearts is nowhere to be found. We will have found the place in the universe outside of time and space. It is the only true world of the forms: where every wished-for thing we ever knew is present, for all eternity, right at our fingertips.

Make no mistake, this is not enlightenment. One can live in the world of time and be enlightened. So Wonderland isn't exactly necessary for us. But don't you think it would be kind of nice to slow things down a little bit? Don't you think it would be pleasant for time to cease slipping through our fingers? I tend to think so, and I think that for our culture, finding Wonderland should be a goal.

The world shouldn't be so boring that we want it to pass us by as quickly as possible. Frankly, I think we are all celestial beings, and a little piece of Wonderland, however we get there, is worth finding.

Evil Puppy (dream)

An evil puppy came into my family somehow. (I think one of my little brothers adopted it.) It was an all-powerful puppy, who had superpowers, and could kill you just as soon as look at you. Of course, I had to fall in line, and do whatever the evil puppy commanded. I bided my time, waiting for the moment to regain my dignity and free myself from the yolk of oppression.

At last, a young boy from the slums outside of town gave me the key to my freedom!

"I know of this puppy," the Wise One said. "All you need is a raw fish."

So I went to the supermarket and bought a slab of raw fish and went home. I was greeted, of course, by the sinister sack of cuteness.

"Get me a bone, Now." said the puppy.

I said, "No." And slapped him with the fish.

"What? I'll teach you," he said, coming at me to attack me.

But I slapped him again. Each time he came at me, I slapped him with the fish, and he was set aback. He was aghast at my display of power. Finally the puppy started whining and said, "Okay. You win. You don't have to give me a bone."

"Damn straight," I said.

The puppy had a miserable time coping with his lack of power. Now that I was the alpha male, he wasn't quite the same. Of course, being a magnanimous alpha male, I didn't want him to feel too bad. So I tried to cheer him up. But nothing worked. It isn't exactly easy to be cheered up by the guy who slapped you with a fish and took away your superpowers. But finally, the answer came in the form of a radiant, glowing superhuman, who turned out to be the puppy's natural master. The puppy was delighted to see him, and they went peacefully along their way, happily, under no yolks of oppression.

Best Commercial for Cocoa Puffs Ever (dream)

So I met this beautiful girl with platinum hair and fell in love. We decided to take a trip to the mall. To our surprise, everyone was out of business except for the department store, which was having a going-out-of-business sale. The mall was very empty. We had some fun looking at advertisements in the department store, then she decided to give me a blow job.

It was specifically a "blow" job; she was very experienced in sex, and carefully weighed the options and decided that in this case actual "blowing" would be more fun than sucking. I honestly would've enjoyed it either way, but I left it up to her.

When we were done, we left the department store, and noticed all the cars were gone. In their place were advertisements. I was curious what they were about, and why society had suddenly gone all whacky. My platinum-haired girlfriend didn't want anything to do with them; she thought they were suspicious. But I was curious. They were interactive advertisements, so I interacted with one of them, and it spat out a radio.

I listened to the radio and it said, "Society is over. But come see our new movie by Steven Spielberg!"

I said to my GF, "Hey, apparently there's this new movie by Steven Spielberg. I don't really like Steven Spielberg, but this one might be interesting."

"Whatever," she said, still apprehensive of the advertisements.

We walked to the movie house, but in its place was a building with a series of rooms. We both went in to have a look around. They said, "Welcome to the new Steven Spielberg movie! But first we have to get to know you."

So they shuttled us from room to room asking us questions. It was rather annoying, but the real problem came when me and my girlfriend got separated. Then I decided, Okay, I've had enough. I asked them to be reunited with my girlfriend and to be shown the exit, and told them I was no longer interested in the movie, thank you very much.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"Are you sure you're sure?"

"Yes."

"You'll miss the movie."

"Do what I asked dammit!"

So they did what I asked and I was satisfied, until I realized that they reunited me with the wrong woman! This woman was much older and had pink hair, not platinum hair. And furthermore, she seemed to form some kind of unnatural attachment to me, and I didn't like it one bit.

I immediately entered the building again and DEMANDED to be reunited with my girlfriend. Meanwhile, this other woman was hounding me about wanting to have children. I said, "No."

Finally, I found my girlfriend, and said, "Are you okay? I was worried about you!"

She was clearly upset, just like me. We decided to go to her house, which was nearby, and talk. She had had several of my babies while in the building. But since she'd only given me a blowjob, and not intravaginal sex, they were chocobo babies.

So I followed my girlfriend and the chocobos, who were all in a line running behind her as chocobos do. But the pink-haired lady was still following me. She demanded that I give her money. I told her "no," but she kept demanding. So I said, "I don't know why you want money, because society has disappeared. But fine. If you'll go away, I'll give you money." And I gave her money.

But it wasn't enough. Now she insisted she was hungry and wouldn't leave until I gave her something to eat. "Alright, fine. I'll give you something to eat."

Then she started chewing on me. "Not of my flesh!!" I said. But she didn't stop. Anyway, it turns out this woman wasn't a woman at all, but a flesh-eating alien from outer space.

Finally we got to the platinum-haired girl's house, and I said, "Look. If you stop chewing on me, I'll give you something to eat, and I'll promise you'll like it."

She shook her head "no," my calf still in her mouth.

I sighed and opened my girlfriend's refrigerator. I pulled out a leg of ham, and took the plastic off and waved it under her nose. She became enraptured by the scent.

"I told you!" I said.

She knawed on the ham for a while, then looked in the refrigerator and said, "Cocoa Puffs!!!!"

And it was all a big commercial for Cocoa Puffs.

Conventionally Ultimate

Edit: This experience has actually happened to me. Every two weeks, on the dot, I experienced extremely ultimate physical pain while I slept, beginning at my incarceration in the mental hospital, and lasting several months. Eventually it faded, but there is no possible way in human existence to experience more physical pain. It was as though every nerve ending of my body which had the capability of feeling pain was fed overwhelming supplies of the molecule responsible for pain. The dreams only reemerged once, recently. In the recent case, I was on a reality television show, and the pain was accompanied by the words "Medication Alert" on the screen. I felt the pain coming on, and the usual hopeless inevitability, but this time, I was saved by the unexpected presence of a Dharma teaching. Please be human. Please oppose psychiatry.

Question: Is there such a thing as ultimate pain?

Answer: Yes, I think so — in a sense. Pain is a concept like everything else, and thus can exist in pure form in an entropic environment.

Question: What about in another universal formation that allows for more of similar elements?

Answer: Yes, that too would be ultimate. They're both ultimate in relation to their constructs.

Student: It's like for one man something is ultimate, while for another man something else is ultimate.

Answer(er): Yes, sort of. Except, concepts only make sense in regards to their universal formations, so the idea of "ultimate" is really the same in both cases — there is no hierarchy.