An evil puppy came into my family somehow. (I think one of my little brothers adopted it.) It was an all-powerful puppy, who had superpowers, and could kill you just as soon as look at you. Of course, I had to fall in line, and do whatever the evil puppy commanded. I bided my time, waiting for the moment to regain my dignity and free myself from the yolk of oppression.
At last, a young boy from the slums outside of town gave me the key to my freedom!
"I know of this puppy," the Wise One said. "All you need is a raw fish."
So I went to the supermarket and bought a slab of raw fish and went home. I was greeted, of course, by the sinister sack of cuteness.
"Get me a bone, Now." said the puppy.
I said, "No." And slapped him with the fish.
"What? I'll teach you," he said, coming at me to attack me.
But I slapped him again. Each time he came at me, I slapped him with the fish, and he was set aback. He was aghast at my display of power. Finally the puppy started whining and said, "Okay. You win. You don't have to give me a bone."
"Damn straight," I said.
The puppy had a miserable time coping with his lack of power. Now that I was the alpha male, he wasn't quite the same. Of course, being a magnanimous alpha male, I didn't want him to feel too bad. So I tried to cheer him up. But nothing worked. It isn't exactly easy to be cheered up by the guy who slapped you with a fish and took away your superpowers. But finally, the answer came in the form of a radiant, glowing superhuman, who turned out to be the puppy's natural master. The puppy was delighted to see him, and they went peacefully along their way, happily, under no yolks of oppression.
No comments:
Post a Comment